I had a 3 year period when I was Mr. Mom. Our oldest child had been born, I was not making enough money to be the sole financial guy but my wife had an excellent job. Most of the pressure I felt to get a "real" job was from inside my own Christian family. Strange that sacrifice is perceived differently. I grew during those Mr. Mom years because the reality of caring for someone other than myself became real clear. Babies are helpless at birth. Human babies take a long time to learn skills that help us as big people allow for their independence. I remember 3 AM feedings when it really seemed like my daughter and I were the only two people on the planet. I remember walks, wobbly ones where my daughter did not know I was behind her but her attempts to master walking and not falling began to emerge. I feel very much like my daughter in my attempts to walk with God and not stumble. I also felt like I my skinned knees would never heal. The process has been long and short, difficult and easy rewarding and disappointing. The short, difficult and disappointing are ALL me. God is never is far away. At the times when we think we are out there making a difference, functioning on our own He is very close. One of the biggest lies we like to tell ourselves is that we did it alone. Now there are plenty of decisions and screw ups that we really own but usually an excuse is close by. A quote that many parents hear, very similar to the first time this phrase was used is "It's not my fault." Why are the bad times and screw ups always accompanied by this little phrase? Why are good times and accomplishments not also accompanied by the same phrase? It really isn't my fault because the unseen presence of God never leaves us. Next time you do something great remember God was with you and had something if not everything to do with it. He gives us skills, He orchestrates circumstances, He allows for opportunities so we can feel good about our abilities and so we can say "It's not my fault." I'm sure not many of us remember learning how to walk but He was there too. Our first steps were known by the Creator, even our first 'spiritual' steps. Walk tall today in the knowledge that God is close and our baby steps continue to gain stability.
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May, 2008